No, you go to the bathroom and put on the frickin' dress.

Richard, I peed in my office for you.

You know what, I don't care what your friends say about you, I think you're pretty great.

Serious as a cease-and-desist.

A... We were a bunch of shallow dicks in high school. And b. Dressing up in our shallow dick uniforms is just gonna remind people of c, go back to a. We were a bunch of shallow dicks.

Until two billionaires with egos the size of mount kiliman-fucking-jaro decided to put a pause on a $46 million deal over two trees that were left off, mistakenly, on the survey.

You have, like, a complete... Memory, filled with so much. I had to, um... Defrag the old hard drives for the bar exam.

She... She is smelling me.

If you put it as your profession on your schedule c, you could probably write off the toilet paper.

I am a deal junkie.

I look like I'm going to, like, a pilgrim prom.

Don't make me choose Michael. You're not gonna like the answer.

All I wanted was cake.

I'm guessing that a few of these people hold some serious resentments. No joke. It's only human nature.

I can't even go to jail, without you bothering me.

These bags are our life, are you kidding me I can't leave them.

I wanna eat, go home, make sexy time, and work. Do you not wanna make sexy time with me?

Worst mother ever. He doesn't even wanna talk to me. Look. Look he's gonna dance with an iPad on his wedding day.

Don't be a pussy, Mike.

By reconnect you mean go full single white female on me before I've even cut the cake?

I'm pretty sure that the... The woman over there that looks like Sally Scissorhands... I'm pretty sure she's the stalker I never knew I had.